Toddlers Aboard
by Kate and Hamish Laird

SetSail received an email from a family about to take a cruising course with twin toddler boys. We forwarded their questions to all of our contributors who have raised kids on boats...

We are preparing for our life aboard - in no more than 5 years we hope, currently day-sailing a Catalina 22 in the middle of Arizona. We successfully introduced our twins to sailing at the age of 4 months, which was not a problem, since they could be "stowed away" safely in their car seats for short hours at a time, either in the cockpit or below. We also have had good success daysailing with them in San Diego Bay over New Year 2005/6.

We just made the decision to take a class in Advanced Coastal Cruising out of San Diego in June. By the time we will be doing this class on a 36/37 foot Beneteau, the twins will be about 2 years old and very mobile - they are into everything they can get their hands on right now. The kids have Type II PFD life vests, and we understand the importance of tethers; however, we would love to hear from people who have experience with babies on board. I am thinking of having them wear bicycle helmets while on board.. Does anyone have experience with that? All the books we have seen so far are very vague on the actual "How how to keep adventure-hungry infant/toddler boys entertained and happy while also keeping them safe." (Maybe I should write a book about that subject as we go: "The Idiot's Guide To ..."?)

Our big question mark is on the problem of putting them to bed safely, especially during the overnight passages. We have had people tell us they used boxes - that does not seem too great to me, mainly for ventilation issues, and the boxes would loose most of their stability if I cut holes in to them near the bottom - or would they? I thought of using hammocks - is that safe enough for mini-toddlers? - and how could I secure the hammocks without putting holes in the boat (since we will not be taking the class on our boat)? Has anyone tried using parts of a play pen to keep infants/toddlers falling off the v-berth? Is there netting available and where for such projects (we stumbled over cargo hammocks --80 pounds-- in a hammock store; would that be safe)? How do I keep their sleeping space big enough for them to be comfortable but not have them roll involuntarily all over the place and over each other when I cannot use permanent fixtures?

We would very much appreciate your comments.

Uli and David, and Ian and Colin

Sailing School

If you are bringing the children on the sailing school course, I would strongly recommend bringing along a friend/babysitter to help you with the children. We took Helen cruising when she was ten months, and left home entirely when Anna was 2 1/2, so not precisely the age you're looking at, but close...We found that when they were younger one grownup had to deal with them all the time, while the other single-handed the boat. That is fine, but in order to get the most out of the course, I think it will be better if you can both maximize your instruction. You will get plenty of time to "get used" to the children on board once you are on your own boat, but if you can both pay attention to maneuvering the boat and the instruction while a friend looks after the children, you will then have more confidence single handing when you are alone with the two of you and the children. It is a lot easier to babyproof a boat that is your own. Also means if you are both "sailors" and "parents" then the parent load doesn't get stuffed entirely onto one parent, which would be pretty horrible, I think!

Helen behind the washboard we added to the forepeak.

There are plenty of people out there with lots more experience sailing with babies than we have. We stuck close to home and didn't do any offshore sailing, so we were always anchored at night. We know quite a few people who headed straight into the Southern Ocean with babies and toddlers, so it can be done, but doing a short coastal cruise suited us just fine with a baby. We had a great time and the sailing was easy. I'd been singlehanding the same water for years before I met Hamish, so it was an easy transition. I would be reluctant to head offshore for the first time with small children. Our friends who went off to Antarctica with babies had hundreds of thousands of miles experience, and plenty of trips to Antarctica. And even some of the toughest sailors we know chose to head off to the tropics with the first baby at least. By the time we started ocean passages again, Anna was 2 1/2 and Helen was 4.

Lifejackets/Harness

Should they wear lifejackets or harnesses? Ideally, we want Helen and Anna clipped on while we are underway, but I don't fully trust them yet not to unclip at the wrong moment, so I want them in a lifejacket as well. We have compromised with lifejackets all the time on deck (the Mustang Lil Legends are comfortable, have neck collars and crotch straps, and are very durable). If we are sailing, they are clipped on as well. In the US, this meant putting a harness over the lifejacket, which is annoying - they are old enough now to put their lifejackets on by themselves, but not the harness, and it irritates them to have to ask for help.

Helen in her harness. To make it more comfortable, I didn't put any rings on it.

In England, we were able to buy inflatable lifejackets with an integral harness. I like the idea, but the Velcro holding the lifejacket part inside is not wide enough and it often opens up. It will take some modification to make it work well for daily use. Helen and Anna still use the foam lifejackets all the time in the dinghy and on deck when we are in harbor or motoring in relatively calm seas.

In England they also sell foam lifejackets with harnesses attached. Usually, however, the harness point is at the back, which I don't like because it makes it too hard for them to walk around. It would work fine for a younger child who wasn't yet climbing around, but could keep him/her inside the coaming. At 10 months, Helen couldn't walk yet, but she could get over the cockpit coaming in about 2 seconds.

A babyproofed cockpit, with an awning overhead, and plywood blocking off access to the gear, throttle levers, and the mainsheet purchase.

Different parents have different theories about whether children should wear lifejackets on deck. It works for us, and we are very relaxed about them being on deck in harbor. Putting on lifejackets is automatic now. Friends of ours who have similar aged children don't have their children wear life jackets on deck. Some parents put up netting and stop worrying. On the other end of the spectrum, we have friends who believe that a grownup had to be following the children around on deck all the time. That would never have worked for me. I couldn't bear spending the day traipsing around after them - and how do you stay within arm's length of two children?

Sleeping Arrangements

When Helen was one, we gave her the whole forepeak of our 28-footer and put a washboard (which involved screwing in cleats to the bulkhead) in to keep her from falling out. At 18 months, your children are at probably the most difficult age - they are fully mobile, but they probably don't follow any rules whatsoever, so it is more of a challenge than when they get older and can understand the consequences.

More babypfoofing. A washboard to keep her out of the head, a piece of shelving from Home Depot to keep her out of open front lockers, and a canvas drop cloth over the cushions to keep her from smearing food on the seats.

The easiest way to secure them in a bunk is to take a 1/2" plywood board and stuff it in between the mattress and the sea rail (again much easier on your boat because you can add cleats if necessary)...this piece could be 2' high now (with holes if you want) and you could cut it down as they get older. Our girls sleep with about an 8" rail now (and not on top bunks offshore, though the oldest sleeps in a top bunk in port). This is great because they can get in and out easily, which became important once they were using the head on their own.

Netting works too, but impossible to add to someone else's boat without leaving holes. And it won't work once they are potty trained - they'll be able to climb over a lee board better than you can, but they won't be able to undo knots and snaps or get them back together again.

You'll also want netting around the boat, especially with two kids - a real pain to put on if the school boat doesn't have a toerail with holes in it - and even if they do it will take a couple of hours - bring a lot of wire ties and then you can cut it all off and take it home with you. You'll have to lash some kind of end board to the bottom if there aren't holes in the rail and then secure those to the stanchion - we used dacron lashing line instead of netting. Go to http://www.expeditionsail.com/contacts/aboutsealframe.htm and click on virtual tour deck to see pictures of it and the type of rail we have - (it isn't in all the pictures because we didn't get around doing it until Greenland.)

A lot of people use a carseat for this, but it is hard to store a carseat on a 28-footer. We used her backpack (which we used daily anyway) as a safe place in a storm.

How are your boys on stairs? Both of our kids have taken serious falls down stairs in the boat and Helen off the raised saloon roof (she was being watched by a friend of ours, but not someone with children of his own). Both times I was worried about concussion and neck damage, but fortunately both were okay. They are just as likely to get hurt at home, I think (at least ours have been) but the problem of sailing is you are sometimes a long way from medical help. Since we live on the boat, the bicycle helmet option did not occur to us - we wouldn't want them to spend all their time in helmets.

Toys on Deck:

We don't allow Helen and Anna to have any toys on deck - I figure that lunging after a dropped toy is the thing most likely to send them over the side. Proof of that came the other day when Anna was walking her bicycle down the dock. Normally, I wouldn't have her push her bike on the dock, but she was with my father, who didn't realize. The bike went off the dock and she followed. Despite her lifejacket, she kept sinking. My father was able to grab her, but couldn't figure out why she wasn't floating better. Another man came to help hoist her out of the water - it all became clear when she came out, followed by the bicycle tight in her hand. Until children are able to realize that they mustn't lunge after lost toys or bikes, they shouldn't have them in hand and I am not sure when that time will arrive. It certainly hasn't arrived for us, and I know of a grown woman who lunged after a dropped electric drill on board a boat. She died from the 240 VAC shock. If adult boat crews do this, we can't expect children to do better.

A folding high chair seat ($10 from WalMart) did duty as a cockpit seat.

When to go:

If you can head off full-time cruising before 6, I think that is ideal. Two-and-a-half and four worked very well for us - they were both out of diapers and hadn't yet started school. School is the deal breaker for many families we know - I really love it and find it very satisfying, but it was nice to start cruising with them before school became an issue. By the time they are 10, they will have much more connection to school and friends, and with every year, it will get harder to pull them away.

It gets a lot easier, very quickly. I've included lots of pictures of the massive amounts of babyproofing we had to do for a 10-month-old, but by the time we moved onto Seal, we only did two things - Dacron lashings on the lifelines (eventually we did 6,000 miles without it) and light switches in all the cabins so they could turn lights on and off on their own, without having to ask a grownup to reach the headlining for the next 8 years.

Helen has a go at helming.

Good book:

Kids in the Cockpit by Jill Schines

Links:

Autoinflate with harness for older children:
http://www.mailspeedmarine.com/ProductDetails/mcs/productID/101398/groupID/1
2/categoryID/48/v/c4f68acf-ced4-4ad0-ba19-9f0023387642

See both (and size info) at:
http://www.crewsaver.co.uk/crewsaver/webpages/aironly.htm

http://www.crewsaver.co.uk/crewsaver/webpages/100n_lifejackets.htm

You can learn more about the Lairds and Seal at their website www.expeditionsail.com.